Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
