Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
