Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Umm I'm too high to move.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
