He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You offered him a āSorry I Blew Your Brotherā Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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