At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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