ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
