my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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