Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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