Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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