I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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