Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
