Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
