It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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