My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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