Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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