hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
