i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
