Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
