Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
