Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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