This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
