in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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