we have officially lost it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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