we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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