Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
