Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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