found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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