Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
