I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
