Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
