Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
