When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
