Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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