But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
