Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
