just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
