The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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