she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
