Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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