id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
