I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
