the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
