Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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