it wasn't lemon gatorade
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
