not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
