Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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