based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
