can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
