I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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