sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
