my soul wont recognize me after tonight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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